“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.”
Keys rattling against one another, and with that, in my gut I knew that they were coming towards my cell.
Wow – cell. Jail cell. Never in a million years did I think my life was going to take this huge detour right after my dad’s death. And yet, here I am with more regrets than I can count and with even more pain in my heart.
The guard began unlocking the cell. “Someone is here to see you.”
I was confused. My mom and brother literally just left, my sisters are mad at me so I doubt they’re here, especially at this time, and, well, the only person I really hoped to be here probably wasn’t, I’m just not that lucky.
Nerves, my stomach turning, my eye twitching, heart speeding- everything that was happening to me in the 5 minutes that it took to walk from the cell to the solitary visiting area.
Who in the world is here?
As soon as they opened the door, the scent hit me like a symbol of familiarity, a mixture of white almond, peonies and vanilla. A scent that would be left on my shirt, my pillows and sometimes even my car. That scent that I would love to wake up to every single day of my life. Yet excitement was the furthest thing from my mind because I knew who was here and why.
I knew it was her, because of her smell, the way her hair curled at the tip, the way she stood and those sweatpants she also wore the night I met her. Those sweatpants that only she could make look good.
When she turned around to face me, my heart literally stopped. There she was, the love of my life and at this point I wanted to do nothing more than apologize for everything I put her through. You could definitely tell that she was crying, her eyes were red and puffy and the beautiful freckles on her cheek were glistening. It broke my heart to see her this way, because I knew I was the reason. But that wasn’t the only thing that tore me apart. I looked down at her hand and immediately noticed that the ring was no longer lying on her beautifully manicured finger. If only I could have controlled my thirst for revenge, if only I told her the truth, maybe, just maybe she would still be wearing the ring.
Before I knew it, her palm smacked my cheek, leaving behind a stinging pain along with a red welt. As I clutched my face, I staggered backwards. I was speechless, but I wasn’t angry. Anger wasn’t something I deserved to feel, yet this slap has been a long time coming. I never deserved anything more.